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As a result, those males who are turned out of their communities are set up for solitary lives as outsiders, with no expectations of ever being accepted anywhere.

(Tickled pink: 😐) His antics with the flowers are a Plot Point™ in an upcoming Monster Match revisit of Alder the ghillie dhu, which will be posting in the next week or so!)ĭriders are not readily accepted into mixed societies, as they’re thought of as being hyper aggressive, extremely calculating, and generally vicious.reputations that largely stem from the lengths families will go to in order to secure marriages for their offspring. She buys him a giant sampler of fancy coffees for their first Yule together, and he is tickled pink to be on the receiving end of a gift, particularly one that he loves. His gifts become less material and *very* specific to her-a bouquet of wildflowers she’s not familiar with (she decides she doesn’t want to contemplate where he found them, and definitely doesn’t want to contemplate him trespassing at Applethorpe Manor in the middle of the night to pilfer their garden,) or a typically hard-to-find potion ingredient, and he begins to pick up on her desire for “acts of service”-taking on some of the restoration and repair work around the house, constructing her outdoor sabbath shelter and assisting in her ceremonies. If you got my newsletter this past weekend, you know all about love languages! Ladybug is a bit bewildered by the gifts at first, again, because she has different assumptions about why he’s buying her things, but as their relationship progresses, their love languages begin to meld. (As giddy as Anzan gets, which is still 😐.)Ĭonversely, the coven in which Ladybug was raised places more importance on acts of service. Deferring to the household female is simply the mindset with which he was raised, and having someone to buy gifts for makes him giddy. She thinks it’s because he feels insecure in their relationship and with living in the town, and that’s part of it, although it’s a much smaller part than she assumes. Having someone to spoil is a *revelation.* Anzan has a hard time breaking out of the mindset that his role is to provide for Ladybug in every way-do the shopping, protect their home, procure anything she might need so that she does not have to leave the safety of their home (because again: mates are prized and jealously guarded.) He defers to her in almost everything.

Daughters are prized, as bride prices can lift a family from one social stratum to another, and males are expected to show their worth through gifts during courting. To have a son reach mating age without having a secured marriage contract is a sign of poor standing, of limited resources, a family’s shame shame they are eager to be rid of.ĭrider courting culture is all about gifts and tokens (even though matches are secured early, traditional courting customs are observed.) Drider culture is largely matriarchal, with the females at the top of the family. Families begin working to secure these all-important, highly-coveted matches as soon as drider babies are born. Securing a good match for one’s son or daughter requires both money and influence in an extremely competitive and harsh culture. The other angle of it: as Anzan tells Ladybug, marriages are a tightly brokered business. Potent, demanding.Ladybug literally goes cross-eyed from the smell of him! 😂 As those sorts of public advertisements of virility were less than appreciated by the community at large, the youngins have to go.

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The reason is two-fold: no self-respecting elder wants their own mates sniffing out the potent scent of a younger male’s sex pheromones, aka the olfactory equivalent of a lighted billboard advertising FREE YOUNG COCK, HELP YOURSELF. Once they come of age, unmated males are turned out of their communities, like baby birds being pushed from the nest. Before finding his way to Ladybug, he’d not had the luxury of a stable home since his adolescence.

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